upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
