She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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