its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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