I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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