I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
