he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
did you just send me my own nude
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
