I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
