Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
