you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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