I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
