I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
