He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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