Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
