will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
