1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
