i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
