I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I checked into jail on foursquare
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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