So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
