Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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