Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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