Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
