I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
