your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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