your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
