just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
