office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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