i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
