How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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