Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
