I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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