im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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