why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
