should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
