I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
A bitchslap is in order.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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