It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
