Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
