U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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