Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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