had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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