he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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