so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
