how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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