so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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