Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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