Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
nutella sex= disaster
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
