So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
