I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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