The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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