she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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