im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
